TORTURe

how long can i bear with this chronic low red blood cell count torture? very min feel like going to faint...

i wish i wish to take a break from work n rest for months to gain back wat was lost. But it is impossible. There will be more disaster back at home only. Nobody nobody bother what will happen to me. they will only say 'take care' and that's it. Every month this ATM will still have to work. The one running away from reality never come back again n will give more prob if i rise my prob.

To certain extend, i blame him actually. Cos if two pax shoulder the responsibility well, i think i dun have to slog like hell over the yrs. but selfish heart wanna pursue own interest at my expense.

How long how long must i should the major responsibility?

actually i think it all crap if they tell me to 'take care'

haa, such dark side of me. But tmr when i wake up, the routine will continue n my laughter will shine again :)

everything floating again

very light headed now!


n my work has yet to complete. DUMB DUMB


Thanks bat for the DOM. Gonna treat u since i m not kind haaaaaa u noe wat i meant

next time..

i rather not have it than later ppl think i dun appreciate. What e hell i done to make u feel not appreciated?

于是爱恨交错

口是心非

这些苦没来由

ppl u thought u r suppose to be so much closer may actually be calculative. Then dun do it, dun do it, dun do it

somehow still .. 我不是影子啦

back from bbk

came back last nite

Went on saturday.

Such a working retreat!

though seminar is only half day but i think i busier than the actual dept that organised this retreat. Must be like mamasan; going ard give namecard n self introduce.

Then at nites, eat and drink with bosses.

Lucky i TRAINED so know how to handle situation.

Haaaaaa after this, i really think when i started clubbing it was really to prepare me for the job.

My bigger boss really fascinated by me - tat i can dance? FAINT.. cos ppl started calling me 'teacher' le.. hate it.. that specs and my stupid dumb face.. so teacher look YUCKY!

Not much shopping. Only managed to grab shorts on last day... n gosh, i really need to lose weight to fit into the 6 pairs of shorts.. or really lugi money..

but for time being, at least tonite, let me try the banana , durian chips lah lol

Today i was one of the luckier ones to be able to have close session with CEO. but my RBC is not helping me so i looked and acted dumb

:( in the bus, i feel like shouting loud n cry.. i wan my RBC back to normal so i dun feel so enervate and then can do what i did last time - FULL of energy n accomplish alot. So that i wont be worry of presentation becos i will get breathless and mind gone blank cos of low RBC

Then i can leave this place and not working for another SUSAN GxH 100% brain alike!

nice cooking and nice nice day :)

Morning was rather upset.

Last month my RBC count went up to 9.9 and i tot i could go beyond 10! but it drop to 9.8. Though not a significant drop, it is still low. The acceptable is 12. Doc said may have to send me to hospital to 'run' iron through me liao.

But it sounds scarey mah. So i asked to take iron tablets again lah :( but i will puke mah wa lau

anway doc said though not life threatening it is obstructing me in term of gettin tire easily, my thinking and reaction and may faint anytime wa lau wa lau. But the reaction and thinking part is true, at work i have black out alot of time and cannot think as fast as i can le lah :(

Evening was great cos of xx, so supportive of me.

One pic of the past brought back so much memories.. not all r sweet though

Believe the power of FACEBOOK

Saw another friend added my secondary school n went in to take a look. Found two of my class photos. N some of the classmates contact.

But i din really wan to go and say hi.

Despite school is lousy my class was super competitive and they are really really highly intelligent de. It seem alot of them are achieving well now.

I was very inferior at school de. Ppl got edcuated parents, got decent money for school, can go out and play. My family, we were always worried about money. Sometimes one week only $10 for family of 4 + grandma and my uncle & aunty will stay and then drunk and fight. Most times i skipped my makan so that my bro get more money. Sometimes if we have maggie mee to eat it was already very happy occasion...

Homework also pretty competitive.

Looking at the pic bring me back some past n feelings really mixed. Looking at the present me, i should say is better than last time le. But of cos when u compare with them... haiz...

It is not about comparing but jus memories and feelings gushes in now

o no

suddenly feel light headed again :(

is the screen too glaring or it jus me that the words are floating?

dumb dumb dumb dumb

Goodby M1 mobile connect modem

It was the first to launch internet token in Spore. And i was one of those that tried to be cool n subscribed for it.

Today finally called up M1 to terminate.

First time i feel i m really a customer of M1. The customer service lady tried to understand why i wan to terminate it.

There you go, but be assured i was very nice to the lady and even assured her that i m ok cos it was a pilot drive locally so did expect glitches mah

(1) Been stressing to M1 staff that i am using Vista. He assured me that it is still plug n play. But the story is not an ever-happy after. It took me almost 45min on phone trying to work with Technical service staff and was still in vain. In the end, was told to go down M1 to get my laptop reconfigure. It took me almost another 45min to an hour. So it is not really plug & play as technical service personnel explained

(2) The connection was so slow. For that i cannot even log into M1 website itself cos they have video streaming. How ironical. So was suggested to upgrade to 2nd tier speed. But it does not help at all.

Enough is enough. Finally 6 mths contract up and i got myself back to Singnet (another story will preveil soon i guess haaa).

M1 now offer me couple of choices, even want to waive 3mths off if i continue with this token. Long story on the offers. Maybe at end of day i dun take any? dun noe still thinking.

But i stil hope that such technology will thrive and even allow to connect to pda :)

And i finally made effort to call SingTel to terminate my residential phone caller ID. Been paying for years without using it. Y? cos i hardly connect my phone and my cheap phone does not have caller ID display LOL.

U see 3 mths=$12 and i been paying for 5 yrs? Wa lau...... terrible me in financial mgmt.

Eversince get to know XXXXXX, i learn alot and grow more sensitive to $ issue. Not that i m rich but really the poor always have one problem.. when we think we are poor, we do not mind those $1-2 cos in the end we are poor. That is the opposite of the richer ones. They tend to be calculative. But guess tat is the attitude of learning to mgmt $ and be sensitive on what to spend n what to save bah...... i m learning.......

cheers M1 cheers Singnet

爱心蛋挞

www.lecafe.com.sg

It was jus a stone throw from spoolz office. But for about 7 mths there i din get chance to taste it. Not your usual egg tarts. it is soya tarts.

Taste real good but din like the shop assistants attitude earlier on. Anyway it is too big a pack for myself.

Been tellng dear i want to try it someday.

hee, tdy got my wish granted.

Was told these are new flavour. The 2nd on top row is the original. The rest come with ginko, lycee and ching chow.

Real nice.

Thank u very much. U r wonderful :)

*hope this dun infringe your personal right

writing riddles?

FB keeps saying i like to write in riddle.

No mah.

As one grows old, we get to understand and realise that one feeling/thought/opinion is actually applying to many situations. Hence did not want to drill down to one incident or issue.

Nowadays i may not be writing as specific of an event le.

Lazy n extremely busy at work.

yeah, here to declare i m now v busy at work and even work at home till wee hours. So plsssssss dun get agitated whne i cannot reply msn on time. I jus let it onz but so many times i was away from desk

:)

rat life, my dear

important turns unimportant then important again then not important

so many things at halt le

There is always choices. for every decision made, there is opportunity costs. So depend on individual to decide if taking up choice A is more worth than choice B.

Why do we have to learn Maths? acquiring knowledge, we being to know how to weigh and measure the weight then we being to compare weightage.

It was monday, then tuesday then wednesday, then thursday, then friday, then saturday, then sunday

then it goes again and again

everyday new meetings, happenings and weightage.

Today choice A is top on the chart, tomorrow if lucky continue to stay, or else, it will jus slip down and down and further down.. choice C may emerge and not choice B as wat is expected.

Talking about expectation. That is a killer to human. It gives human desires and hopes. then like a balloon, even if not burst, D&H just get smaller.

How many ppl can be godly (somebody used that on me to tongue lash on me) and hack care of desires n possessions?

两个人不等于我们

今天拥有的财富不等于永远的占有

世上哪有永远的第一

拥有了失去，

快乐了不快乐

甜蜜的变质

回忆的痛苦

望着远处，以为冲出了枷锁， 却原来还在原地徘徊

That y i dislike kids.

They are innocent and pure when young but as days go by, they are polluted by people around, environment and situation arised.

I din like kids cos cannot bear to see them grow up and shed tears of disappointment, saddness and unhappiness.

Maybe sounded too negative but ...

do you kind of also think that happiness is often short stint yet unhappiness can follow u all ur life? u tot u found happines but before u can celebrate, it slips through your fingers. You are happy for a moment but in split second, you desire more and think of what you have not gotten

Hatred, love, greed is every living thing instinct