this life is not meant for myself. There are responsibilites towards others.. time n time, again and again, there are miracles in life i must achieve

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song

But now I know the meaning of true love I'm leaning on the everlasting arms - tat's me

If I can see it, then I can do it

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away

I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud

There are miracles in life I must achieve

I know it starts inside of me,

ohIf I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

Hey, cuz I believe in me, oh If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothign to it

Hey, if I just spread my wingsI can flyI can flyI can fly, heyIf I just spread my wingsI can flyFly-eye-eye


i did it before and will do it again.. reach out that open door n get chance to get out of the dung

心灵 自由

我为自己许下诺言。。 我不再为那样的事，庸人自扰。

给自己呼吸时间吧。。

它绊着我十多年，年年害怕犹豫。 它是时候 放开我的手了

会有它事让我过那一秒更踏实

微笑微笑

一生 不仅仅活在那一秒

A great morning to wake up to...

Dear really helped to ring me so i can wake up early n not feel lousy.

A company rang up. Despite i am still unclear of what i want n life purpose to start with. It was great to receive the phone.

Now listening to self help audio.

Yes! i feel great now. Cos i have done some miracles to my life n body.. raised efforts to take responsibility for myself. Cloud nine i create the nice feel, lessen pain.

The next step is to reduce the miserable feel n depression n fear i get every now n then. N not to be soaked in other ppl foul mood. I cannot control other ppl. They can continue to whine but i m not goin to. I cant control u but i can control myself

I create psychological safety net so that regardless of what happen, i will not be worrying and fearful.

Still have freedom to choose own attitude. Courage to focus on things i can do n i can control. Increase chance to understand n achieve my goal n success in my own way.

It's yr end but not end of life. E sailing continues... fighter fights :)

Reflecting 2008 - Stocktaking

Thank You 2008 and Welcome 2009


Thank you , i really thank for the year. There are UPs and downs. But i am still surviving :)

It was a drastic n very bold move to quit n rest at home. There were few objectives i wanna to achieve:
1. Nurse back health n stablised the very low red blood cell count
2. Get back my figure. i mean at least slim down abit. The tummy was very embarrsing
3. Read more
4. Gain better control on emotions n let go past n embrase the future. Especially in relationship. How to better handle situation


The results were pleasing

1a. Giddy spells were pretty minimised. Only some occasions but i can handle it better.
1b. Decade curse of menses pain and cramps were reduced to minimal. The effect for past two months were plain tire. But no cramps. *Relief. Keep it up!!!
2a. Reduced tummy though stil probing. But not so embarrasing. Thighs reduced by some 0.0x inches. It is v small reduction but it is still results. I managed to squeeze back into some pants. Cut cost!!
2b. Can dance better .. body more flexible
2c. Able to continuously exercise for 30min and still looking great. it was terrible 3 mths ago
3. Yeah read alot alot. Confession- many books i read selectively on few sections. Gemini is so 'hopping' lol. N thanks to NLB, able to borrow twice # of book and audio books. N the decision to renew premium membership allow me to hear books. Great!
4. Yeah, those self help books and audio books were helpful. Alot of reading and self reflection and confession really let me realise alot of things about Life, Living & R'ship managment. I hope i can really improve alot. And thanks BC for his patience. Occasionally i still unconsciously slip back into depression and emotional blackmail. Somehow despite being irritated, you have help me along the way. :)

Now, 2009 challenge is how i can get back to workforce. Earn decent income and then continue to stay n live healthy

Life, i love u.
Hope, i believe in u
Me, i will learn to have more faith in u :)

进化论

今天起身，我 感到好寂寞。。
不是因为自个而寂寞

心理空虚不是有人有声驱赶地走 的 。。。

为什么我不能像他人一样，浸泡在 吵闹 喧哗里 而 狂喜，自个 觉得 生命以很精彩
我有 尝试，将近半年

可是我的空虚好像无底洞

追求 精神和心灵上的饱暖 真的 一直缠住我一生

好像一直在寻求一次又一次的思路进化

缺乏新知识和个人提升让我觉得生命没了呼吸。。 我好想停停脚步，每天做个布娃娃，像她们 ，无边无尽 的 只 想着 玩乐 打扮 吃喝

可是那把声音逼迫急速呼唤着我行动了

我的人生，我的生存意义是什么？

寻找进化更新生命的意义。它只属于自己，没人能了解。。 每个人是独一无二的

希望 您的 已 找到 或 又一次进化了

爱情长篇 ‘小说’

（1） 什么样的爱才 叫 爱
女人总把自己的时间交给她的男人
男人往往 。。 也许毫不经意的。。 把时间分割

女人就这样 误会/认定 自己乏味 让男人注重朋友过于自己

男人莫不着头
女人暗地伤心

男人觉得女人 无理取闹
女人叹气男人 不了解 她的伤心

e getaway

I love the mountains, I love the clear blue skies ...
I love big bridges ...
I love when great whites fly ...
I love the whole world ...


Boom-de-ah-da, Boom-de-ah-da, Boom-de-ah-da, Boom-de-ah-da!

my version:
i love the escalator, i love the lift

i hate the stairscase, i hate the slope

i hate the sea, i hate the wave, i hate ferry, i m not a sea lover